Power of the will

A few years ago, one of my intentions for the new year is to offer more communication of yoga teachings with a larger audience. I have to say I have been holding back on this for quite awhile, even though my teacher and many of my students have asked this of me for many years. One day, one of my friends and students, Chandra, asked me what was stopping me from offering myself into the world.  I was struck by this question because I realized I was holding back - for fear of being too "small" to give anything of value. In this moment I remembered that feeling insignificant actually diminishes the inner spirit. We are born to be ourselves, and to offer ourselves into the world from our highest place.To be of service to the Shakti, the life energy, I must allow my spirit to be BIG and offer the teachings of yoga to a bigger world.

So here I am, offering my first live audio recording of my Affirmation yoga class theme. In it I discuss how the power of our divine will is stronger than individual will power. I'll be offering these regularly, so check in often.

Double click the link below to listen. I hope you enjoy. Shine brightly everyone!

Can you believe it before you feel it?

For my formal years of education I was trained as a biologist.  For this discipline it was expected and valued that all conclusions you come to were weighed carefully and analytically.  Anything that you decided on had to be substantiated with concrete evidence and rationalization.  I was good at this, it was even easy.  My world was limited to black and white. I was either with or against, agreed or disagreed.  The grey areas, at least in my mind, were not complete - not valid. What I realize now is that I was actually scared of the grey areas.  The spaces between this and that, here and there, you and me were the unknown and not fully developed hypotheses of life.  The grey areas require engagement in it.  They must be experienced on more than the level of rationalization and conclusions. They must be FELT. Life is that engagement. Life is full of shades of grey.

Over time and many years on my yoga mat, I started to appreciate, and even relish the middle places between the conclusions of life.  These are the spaces and times that I can tune in and really FEEL.  Yes, these are scary places, full of uncertainty, but they are also potent places.  Not knowing all the answers allows me to really tap into my inner wisdom and come back into all the possibilities in front of me. Ultimately, it gives me the the power to choose them.  It is from this power I choose to courageously feel before I realize anything.

Life is a game of cards and other spiritual persuits

Practicing yoga has helped me to see the spiritual essence within daily life- that the mundane, day to day moments are gateways to our essence of pure spirit.  Even routine things like washing the dishes or driving your kids to school can be opportunities to open your heart to the divine essence within.

I remember having one of those moments as a young child.  My dad and I were listening to Kenny Roger's "The Gambler" and he looked at me with a grin. "Kiddo, this song has a lot of good advice." Listening to the lyrics was a pivotal point in how I saw the world.  Life isn't something to complain about and suffer through, it is a magical game of chance and skill.  The song plays: "You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold them."  Sometimes you are dealt an amazing hand and you feel like the luckiest person on Earth. Other times you can't believe it could get any worse.  Whining doesn't make you win this game.  Being successful at it is part luck and part digging into it with both hands. Sometimes it is most appropriate to work through it, and other times you may need to let it go. Yoga helps us with that discernment.

I feel this quote from Josh Billings really sums it up for me, "Life consists not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well."  We don't always have a say in how our life presents itself to us. Lady luck is very much in charge of this game of life, but you do have a say in how to work with what you have.  You can appreciate the blessings and trust in the bigger picture- especially when life gives you a difficult hand. What matters most is what you do with what your dealt with.  That is the yoga- to skillfully act even though you don't know the outcome of the game. It's all a fascinating and exciting game to enjoy playing!

Wake up and be grateful!

There was a day several years ago that was one of the worst days and best days I have ever experienced.  It was a day that I am forever grateful for.  It started like any other day- I dropped my son off at school and then came home to get ready for work. Little did I know that on that day I would be standing on a razor's edge of uncertainty.  I was getting into my car to go teach class and I saw that my son's school was calling me. I caught myself thinking, "Oh no, what's wrong?"  My thinking quickly turned around to, "No, it's always okay, don't assume the worst." The school secretary proceeded to tell me how my son got in an accident at school and hit his head, knocking him out of consciousness for almost five minutes. The voice inside my head told me "You should be panicking right now," but instead there was a stillness, a calm point of inner reflection and knowing that ultimately everything would be okay. " This is why practice yoga, " I told myself.
During the next few minutes driving to school I was surprisingly calm and at peace.  I completely let Grace take over as I let go of the reins and trusted. I let my heart lead the way and know the right direction to go.  When I saw my son on the stretcher in a neck and head brace, I woke up with a jolt.  "This is real" I thought.  The whole way to the hospital I was silently chanting and praying.  "Align with the energy, step deep into the current, you must be strong for him, trust in something bigger."

Thank goodness after several hours and a CAT scan later, my son was cleared to go home.  I have never felt so grateful and so alive in my entire life.  It was in this time of absolute uncertainty, that I became certain of what mattered.  These "wake up" moments are the turning points of our lives, are the time to really pay attention to the blessing of being.  It was a pivotal point in my awareness of how precious and rare life really is.  We often take for granted this gift of our life.  The day to day routine of living is both the obstruction and the revelation to seeing how blessed we really are to receive this gift.  Sometimes Grace is fierce and says, "Wake up!"  Although I never would have asked for it, I look back on this razor's edge day as a wake up call.  Because of it, deep within me a voice cries out, "I vow to pay attention to every moment of this embodiment as the sacred moment it is.  I vow to pay attention to each breath, each scary and beautiful moment as a present." Part of me also knows that eventually I will also forget. This is what it is to be a human embodiement of spirit. It is in the forgetting that I ultimately will remember the whole point of being-
You must be aware of what is in your life to be grateful for it

We are more than the sum of the parts - how relationships define us

Everyday I wear many hats- we all do.  I am proud to be a mom, daughter, wife, sister, teacher, student, and friend.  With each of the hats I wear I get the opportunity to look inside to that aspect of myself that defines me in that role. Each responsibility and role connects us to a part of our essence that can only be expressed uniquely in that way.  For example, I get to show my silly and fun-loving side with my best friend, but it would be completely confusing and off-putting if I acted that way with a stranger!  Knowing what is appropriate to each relationship helps us define ourselves.

There is a reason why we have so many types of connections to others - Our divine essence is too vast and complex to be expressed all at once!  It is through each individual relationship that we have the opportunity to catch a glimpse of how we are in relationship with ourselves. I can express my serious side with some and my goofy side with others.  I like to think of it as a bundle of heartstrings.  I may express one or two aspects of my heart in a casual friendship, but the closer I become with someone, the more strings I share with them.  The very rare and precious people that we share all of our heartstrings with are truly our soul-friends because they give the greatest insights into our very nature.

The beautiful thing is that we are more than the sum of all of the parts.  Every relationship I have is a gift that brings me closer to knowing my whole nature and offer myself (from my essence) back into the relationship.   It is through this reflection that we can discern if we are in alignment with our true nature.  This is yoga. It is how we yoke ourselves to our life as authentically and as skillfully as we can.  For us to have loving and nourishing relationships, we need to first look into the mirror and ask what hat we need to put on.  It is from this place we make appropriate choices of our intentions, words and actions with others and ultimately tie our heart strings closer together.

Yoga unlocks the spirit

There really is no separation between our body and our spirit, even though at times we don't feel connected to our hearts.  In those times we feel shut out from our inner essence we suffer because we are not experiencing our holistic self. It feels like there is a lock that holds back our most essential nature.

The answer is not how to integrate your spiritual life into your embodied life, but to realize that our body and everyday life is also divine. We are an embodied spirit, so there is no difference between your "real life" and your spirituality. This reminds me of a beautiful quote by the French philosopher Teilhard de Chardin, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, but spiritual beings having a human experience."  Our spirit is immortal and completely free, but it must take form to be able to experience itself.

If our body and mind are denser forms of our spirit, then we should work on feeling connected to our hearts *while* living this life. This is where yoga comes into play.The gift of a yoga practice is that we experience our body, mind and spirit as one whole entity. Yoga is like a key that unlocks the spirit to experience embodied life. The body feels supple and strong, the mind is calm and alert, and the spirit breaks free! Please click on the below link to listen to a recording that will help you find your key to your heart. Enjoy!

Wake up to see yourself

We have all had moments, although fleeting, where we experience who we are at the deepest level.  These "ah-ha" moments are expansive epiphanies of our true nature, but they can only be experienced for brief periods of time. In fact the possibility of revealment is dependent on the fact of initial concealment.  We can only discover what we originally are not aware of.

Please enjoy this recording from my class introduction.  Today I discussed how we are the divine play of consciousness, discovering itself through us.  Click on the link below and enjoy!

Go with the deeper flow

A common misconception in yoga is that we must always go with the flow. Actually that is not true. The way that life flows on the surface can be in a very different direction than the more underlying correct current.  When you the follow the easier, more surface flow, it can bring you out of alignment and pull you away from your truer, deeper nature. It's like a kid doing what his peers are doing, even though in his gut he knows it is wrong.

The aligned way is not always the easy way.

Here is another example: it is so much easier to reject something because you are afraid of it and never attempt it. But what if that attempt to try something scary is the very thing that would reveal your highest nature and purpose?

So how do you know which is which? Taking time to reflect and explore that deeper wisdom. Pause instead of being on auto pilot. Listen to your heart before your mind. Trust like crazy. You already know what you need to do- so go do it. This life is a gift, but you still need to unwrap it. You may just be surprised to see what you uncover in yourself.

Please enjoy this recording by clicking on the link below.

Letting go of grudges

It's hard to let go of feeling upset and resentful towards others who have hurt you.  Understandably, we need to protect ourselves against those who may bring us harm, but when we are no longer in jeopardy, how do we let the hurt go? What do we do about those people or situations in the past that still make us angry?

The Buddha once said, "Holding on to anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intention of throwing it at someone, but it is you that gets burned."

How can we be courageous enough to let go of past hurts, and be compassionate enough to ourselves to let go of that hot coal? Forgiveness is not for the person that has wronged us. It is for our wellbeing and happiness.

In today's class introduction I discuss why courage and compassion are the ways to let go of resentments.  Please enjoy this recording by clicking on the link below.

For those who do too much

Life is a balancing act. What can you do when you do too much and feel like you are toppling over?  Too often our balance sheet of life over-floods on the work side, and rarely fills up on the rest side.

We may think we want this work-life balance to be equal, but life doesn't always give us that chance. We feel cheated because life isn't always fair and equal, but is that what we really want? Balance often gets confused with equality. When I feel overloaded what I really want to feel is a sense of harmony and calm.  Everything in life has a balancing point, although this doesn't mean that we need our work and rest to be equal in order for us to be in harmony with life.

Please click the link below to listen to my newest recording on how to find your balancing point.